Clancy: 6 Months in Dog Time, 3 1/2 in Human Time

The Side Eye...The Look Before Disaster Strikes

When my daughter was little, everyone spoke about the “Terrible Twos”. I kept waiting for something bad to happen over the course of that year, but it never did. Three was the age that all the horror happened. She started to really “get it”, and with that she spent a fair amount of time in “time out”. Four showed up and she went back to being our lovable child, which was a good thing for everyone involved.

Over the last week or so, Clancy has suddenly been feeling his oats – which made me figure out his “human age”. He’s 6 months old in dog time, thus he is now 3 1/2 in human time…and he is acting no different than any 3 1/2 year old child I’ve ever met. If he could say “No!”, he’d be the complete package. Sigh.

In the past week, he has done the following:

* When he goes in the yard, he starts out docile and does his business. Then he makes a mad dash for the pool cover and goes berserk. (Don’t worry, it’s an Elephant cover – he can’t fall through). Anyway he thinks it is his own personal runway, especially when he knows I see him on there….and where does he stop? Right in the middle, of course…because it has some mesh there and if he hops up and down a little, some water will come through. He thinks it’s a giant water bowl and a dream come true…until I start yelling at him. I have to dash his little dream a few times a day. (I believe he thinks he’s a greyhound)

*His other great trick in the yard is smushing his nose against the ground and eating dirt. One would think we don’t feed him all day, with the way he acts. He looks like a pig searching for truffles.He loooooooves to eat dirt! I don’t get it.

*Speaking of the yard, I can have him out there for extended amounts of time…but when does he think he should poop? Somewhere in the 5 minute range of being back in the house…and right in front of the door. Whyyyyy does he do that? He must speed poop too because I can have my eyes on him the entire time, and he seems to do it in the 5 seconds I stop to look at something else. He’s like a magician.

* He has discovered that if the door to the master bath isn’t locked, that he can push the door open with his head, and make his way undetected into the back of the walk-in shower. It’s great when I’m rinsing the shampoo out of my hair, turn around, and see him happily wagging his tail enjoying the shower himself. (I believe he thinks he’s a lab.) I cringe at the thought of opening the pool because I know he is going to jump right in.

* He has discovered a million different ways to torture Rory, our 4 year old Dogue de Bordeaux. Rory can be a little grumpy when he wants to, and Clancy just waits for the tiniest chance to drive him nuts. Case in point: Clancy has to be the first one in the door so he can wait for Rory to come through – so he can do what can only be described as Ninja Slapping him in the face. Now Rory stands at the door and won’t come in unless I move Clancy aside. (My house is fun.) Clancy also uses Rory as a a springboard if he is sleeping in the hallway. Not for any specific reason, except that he can. He’s a gutsy little guy. (I believe he thinks he is Rory sized, which he isn’t…yet).

*He thinks that everyone’s shoes are fair game…especially mine. Luckily he doesn’t chew them. Rather he just likes to “move them” to a spot he thinks is better. That makes for good times when I am getting ready for work in the morning and am standing there with one shoe in my hand, wondering where the hell the other one went.

I have to tell you…I love Clancy. To me, he is the cutest little guy on Earth. I mean how could you not love this:

Look how cute I am!

…But 4 in human time cannot get here soon enough. (I believe he’s trying to make me snap.)


Posted on April 1, 2012, in Dogs, Pets, The Dog and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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