For the Girls With Curls

This is not my hair, but it might as well be!

Words that straight haired girls say: “I wish I had curly hair! You’re so lucky!”.

Words that most curly haired girls say in reply: “No, you don’t and no, I’m definitely not!”

I am a curly haired girl. In my lifetime, I have never once agreed with someone when they said that to me. In fact, I actually look at people like they are out of their minds when they say that (as I stare at their sleek, straight, beautiful hair in envy). Only girls born with curly hair understand the plight of what it’s like to have such a “blessing”. Have you ever seen the episode of Friends when they go on vacation and Monica’s hair turns into an afro? Yeah, it’s like that.

When I was a kid, I didn’t really care that I had curls. I was too young to understand that my hair was just unruly…and my mom could put it in a ponytail and twist it into a perfect Shirley Temple curl…which I loved. Then when I was about 9, she told me we were going for a “haircut”. Little did I know that my hair that touched the middle of my back was going to be cut into a pixie cut. I looked like a boy, and not a cute boy either. (Granted, I was a tomboy and never brushed my hair, so it was always a giant knot, but I’m still a little bitter about it. OK, I’m lying – I’m a lot bitter!) I hated that haircut so much that I stayed in the backyard with a woolen ski-cap on for 2 months. (I’m not joking!). I distinctly remember that it was during one of those 70’s heatwaves and I sweated my ass off, but that hat didn’t come off all summer. It was then that I realized that my curly hair was a curse, because that was one bad look when it started growing back….and that’s where the battle officially started.

My teen years were in the late 80’s, where big hair ruled. I was almost decent with that because I could make the top of my hair look like a giant wall, with enough Aqua Net to choke a horse. (By the way, I was about 5 inches taller then). The bottom was just curls turned dried out fuzz because no matter how hard I tried to brush the bottom out, that’s what I got. I look back at pictures and just cringe.

The straight haired girls seriously have no idea what it’s like to have curly hair. Their biggest gripe in life is “My hair goes flat!” I would have given a piece of a limb over the years to know what that felt like. They don’t know what it’s like to spend a half hour trying to smooth your hair with a blow dryer, only to walk 25 feet to your car, get in, and have a Zulu Princess looking back at you in the rear view mirror. It honestly goes south that quickly. They can have cute haircuts and semi-bangs. Anything even remotely bang-like on a curly haired girl is the devil. It’s the first thing that acts crazy. They don’t know what it’s like to have anxiety about going to an outdoor function on a humid day and having your hair scrunch up about 3 inches shorter than it was when you left the house. It never scrunches up nicely either because it has an evil mind of its own. They don’t know what it’s like to have to carry a hair tie with you at all times because there is a good chance it’s going to have to be pulled back at some point. They enjoy driving with the windows open…curly haired girls don’t…at least not this one!

I’ve tried everything…smoothing shampoos, deep conditioners, gels, mousse, using a curling iron to get them to be “normal” curls, hot rollers, air drying it, flat irons, and even once (way back) resorted to using a crimper. That was such an outright disaster that it’s painful to even remember that. None of them worked. Once someone even said to me “Maybe you should get a perm and it’ll soften your curls.” Gahhhhh a perm?!?!? That is just unthinkable. (Of course this came from a straight haired girl, because NO ONE with curls would EVER suggest such an atrocity!)

It took me 39 years to find my life changer…keratin treatments. It was like the angels in heaven sang to me the first time I had it done. Sure, I have to walk around for 3 days with my hair pin straight, and by day 3 you could lube a car with my head, but Christ on a donkey it is the best thing EVER when I wash it out. I can blow dry my hair in about 5 minutes WITH MY FINGERS and it is smooth, sleek, and beautiful. It’s not completely pin straight either…just nice! No curls or frizz in sight baby…not even if I go stand in the fog or mist! (I’ve done that for fun, just because I could!) It’s like a dream come true…at least for me it is. (And don’t go trying to destroy my dream with your formaldehyde comments either. The kind I use has none in it…and besides, I live in New Jersey – I’m pretty sure the air I breathe on a daily basis is worse for me than getting these treatments done twice a year!)

So there it is…this curly haired girl is finally happy with the hair on my head. Thank you keratin treatments! You have changed my life! I look the same all day as I do when I leave the house in the morning, I love anxiety-free outdoor functions, and I even drive with the windows wide open and my hair blowing in the breeze…and it feels so right….because it finally is!

PS – To this very day, I have “short hair” phobia because of that damn pixie cut. I’ll never get over it…never, I say!


Posted on April 10, 2012, in Hair, Observations, opinions, priorities, rant, Thankful, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I have this exact same problem lol I feel your pain.

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