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Things Parents of Sons Are Missing Out On In Life…

Parents of sons, please enjoy the following. Here’s a little taste of the fun you are missing out on…
(Parents of daughters will totally understand!)

1. Having to dress shop at the mall on Monday for 2+ hours because your daughter “needs a new dress because every girl in my class is wearing one on Wednesday”. She will have to check every single “cool” store first, before actually finding a dress in the store you suggested in the first place. You will also have to make the requisite stop at Starbucks for some type of Strawberry concoction. She will be mad at you because you will not let her get a coffee because she is 12, and you don’t see how a 12 year old needs coffee. She will let the cat out of the bag that she orders coffee when she goes to the mall with her friends, and then stare at the floor. She will give the barista a fake name when she orders her drink, and when you ask her why she did that, she will reply in a whispered tone “Mommm. It’s not cool to give them your real name! Everyone knows that!” She will grin like a champ when they yell her fake name when her drink is ready for pick-up.(For the record, you are the only people in the store, and they still yell.) She will get in the car and take the perfect selfie of her and her Starbucks drink with her fake name prominently displayed and will post it to Instagram. She will spend the drive home telling you how many “likes” she got on that one.

2. Having to leave work yesterday for 20 minutes to run home and drive your daughter to school because someone (Mom) accidentally put the dryer setting on low and the yoga pants she HAS TO wear to gym did not dry in time for school. She will text you at work 7 minutes before the bus is coming to let you know this. No, she cannot wear something else to school! Your daughter will beg and plead to stay home, but that isn’t happening. When you are driving her to school you will hear all about how she has now missed gym but is wearing the yoga pants anyway because that was her chosen outfit for school and she knows you would have been mad if you got home and she didn’t have them on. (She is correct on that one!) Also, she will tell you that because of the dryer mishap this is her first time being tardy in 7 years of school. The streak is broken and she will be upset about it. (Tardiness is a catastrophe that you are unaware of), and now because it is after 9:00, she will not be able to sit with her class at the assembly that is occurring, because she is tardy for that too. All of this will be your fault. You will drive back to work thinking about the million times she has made you tardy for work over the past 7 years. At 3:20 pm, she will come home smiling and say that she was glad she didn’t stay home because she had a great day, but will still be upset at the tardiness marring her permanent record. She will then grab a snack and go up to her room to blast music and scan Instagram for anything she has missed in the last 6 hours, as well as to see if there are anymore likes on her Starbucks selfie.

3. Having to get out of your pj’s on your sick day (there’s no such thing for a Mom) because you HAVE TO drive a very specific outfit over to your daughter’s school (after a series of panicked laden texts, which she is doing while hiding face first in her locker, because phones at school are a bigger no-no than tardiness) because the dress that you spent two hours shopping for, and that she looks so beautiful in is ITCHY…VERY, VERY ITCHY and she “can’t take it for another minute”. When you get there, the secretary will want to know how you know your daughter needs a new outfit if she isn’t in the nurse’s office because they’re not supposed to have phones in school. You will reply that your daughter is 12, 12 is a fun age, and you are part psychic with a $hit-eating grin on your ugly, sick face. The secretary will look less than amused at your answer and will make “the face” at the other secretary who is sitting there listening to your conversation. You will then stand there awkwardly pretending to read the bulletins hanging on the wall while you wait for your daughter in the itchy dress to make her way down to the office. It will feel like an hour, but probably will only be about a 3 minute wait.

4. Your daughter will finally come down to the office to get her specified clothes and will actually give you an unexpected heartfelt thank you for bringing that in, will hug your arm, and tell you that she hopes you get some rest…and you won’t be annoyed anymore. In fact, you will smile as you drive back home.

Yes, that’s what having a daughter is like. (God bless my friends that have more than one!)


Zenfish Leather Design – Great Gift Ideas!

The perfect graduation gift!

Once again, I wish to take time away from my regular blogging to tell you about something I think is AWESOME…Zenfish Leather Designs. Previously, I made a post about Zenfish Dog Drawings. (If you didn’t see it, check it out by clicking the link or go into my archives and read all about it!).After years of cajoling her about this too, I’m glad to say that she has decided to start this business as well. (She is seriously multi-talented!)

Zenfish Leather Design features handcrafted leather journals and artist sketch books, and I think they are wonderful! I speak from experience because she has made them for myself, my husband, and my daughter…and we all love them.

When she came out with her new design I knew I had to make a blog post about it, because I think it is the perfect graduation gift for the budding writer or artist. Not only can she put the year on it, but she can monogram it as well. I can guarantee that no one else will give that special graduate the one of a kind gift that you do!

Is Zenfish a friend of mine? Clearly. However, I’m not the only one who thinks her work is exquisite. She is a featured shop and contest winner on Etsy, and is also featured on Wanelo. Her business is starting to really take hold, and I couldn’t be happier for her. That being said, I thought I should share it with all of you. I think her books are better than anything I have seen in any stores, and are worth taking a look at…especially with graduation approaching. My favorite part, aside from the obvious, is that 10% of all proceeds from her sites will be donated to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. I couldn’t agree with her more on her choice of charity!

The clock is ticking down to graduation day, so why not browse Zenfish Leather Design and see what she has to offer? I think you’ll find something you…and that future graduate…will love!

I should just bring bail money!

I know I have basically no patience in life. It’s not like that’s a revelation of any sort, but when I go out in public (like shopping) I spend a majority of my time trying to control my blood pressure and fists of death. Where the hell do these people come from and who said they should be allowed out in society without learning some basic principles of common courtesy?

For instance, today I was reminded why I always go to Shop Rite when they open at 7am, as opposed to noon when every crazy person has just left church where they have cleansed their souls of sin, only to decide to start fresh in the grocery aisles. Is it that hard to NOT leave your cart in the middle of the jam packed aisle while you saunter around comparing the price of canned vegetables?? How can you have the gaul to get mad when I try to stand there patiently waiting for you (for about 5 seconds), then decide to slightly move your cart to the left so the rest of us can get by? I do not want your items, just a little space to get away from you.

Is it really neccessary when you have four children with you to stand at the end of the aisle (blocking it, of course) and tell your children one by one exactly what they should go find? It’s like a sick scavenger hunt that the rest of us don’t appreciate. Let your four little slaves do that kind of fun stuff at home please….and yes, they are going to either come back with the wrong thing OR stand in the middle of the aisle themselves yelling “Ma! MOM! This?!?” – it’s inevitable, as are the mumbled curses you will strain to hear me saying as I try to squeeze by.

When it comes to line etiquette, I guess people haven’t heard about that whole “give me a little space” thing some of us actually employ. You do not need to jam your cart a centimeter from my ass so that I cannot even lean over to get something out of my cart or move in any direction whatsoever. Even better, do not jam your cart a centimeter from my ass and then walk away to get the one thing you forgot. Don’t act stunned when you come back and find your cart about 5 feet from where you left it, because that’s where it should be…just be glad I didn’t shove it halfway across the store!

As for you “Cashier Extraordinaire”…I know you hate your job. Nobody gets that more than me because I worked there for 2 years in college – However…I put my items on the belt in a specific order for a reason…because that is the order I wish to bag them in. What exactly strikes you to ignore what is at the front of the belt and reach five deep for an item to scan? If I wanted to bag my produce with a cleaning product, I would have placed them together in the first place…but I did not. Also, don’t look so insulted when I tell your bagger that I will do it myself. I have a method…and he or she apparently does not…at least not one that I would ever understand.

Finally, when you see me unloading a never ending myriad of bags into my car, in a semi-empty parking lot, don’t put your blinker on for my spot…especially when there are plenty of other spots to be had. I am only going to look at you, then directly at the many other spots you could park in, then move slower than I have in recent memory. I don’t care if I’m truly in a rush because I will act like I’ve got allllllll day. In the amount of time you sat there, you could have been half way through the store already and gotten a little extra exercise to boot!

Don’t even get me started on my trips to the local WalMart…I could write volumes on what goes on there. Those are other stories for other days, I suppose.

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