“You’re In My Spot!”

Summer is the time that I get back on the exercise class wagon. During the school year, I just have too much to do on a daily basis, and usually just work out at home. I love going to class, but what I do not love, or even remotely understand, is people’s crazy obsession with their “spots”.

I usually try to go to class at 5:45am…bright and early. It’s not crowded and my friend teaches the class. Sometimes, I just can’t get out of bed and will take a different class in the morning…and that’s where the craziness starts.

Last week, I took a later class for the first time on a Friday and it was PACKED. If you know me at all, then you know that one of my biggest quirks in life is my “space issue”. Unless I am super comfortable with you, I get extremely uncomfortable if you are anywhere within arm’s reach of me. I mean uncomfortable to the point that the hair on the back of my neck stands up, I get a knot in my stomach, start getting antsy, and need to back away slowly .

Anyway, I put my bag down and stood in an area (I refuse to say spot) that looked a little roomy. A second later this gaggle of older women come to where I am standing and unbeknownst to me at the time, begin to claim their sacred territory that I had invaded. Since I don’t really talk to people there (Shocker, I know) I just ignored them and stretched a little. Next thing I know, the one woman is standing SO close to me that her arm hair is almost touching mine. When I look up at her, she is glaring at me. Ah, now I get what’s going on…and I decide to stand my ground for a minute or two…just to be a jerk. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore because if she got any more in my space I’d be giving her a piggy back ride. I was mad at myself for doing it, but she had found my kryptonite…so a few steps to the right I went. As if her winning “her spot” back wasn’t enough, she turns to her gaggle of pals and says “See? I got my spot back!” You can imagine the face I made at that comment.

That face must’ve struck a nerve with her, because today she actually gave me a little tutorial on “her spot”. Yes, I forgot that this was the one class time I wanted to avoid, and made the same mistake twice. As soon as I got there and a good 50 other women came in, I seriously contemplated picking up my bag and leaving, because it was way too crowded for me. I’m glad I didn’t, or I would have never learned about this woman’s obsession with “her spot”.

I purposely stood in that area to the right of their lunacy and had no intentions of even looking at them this time…and I sure as hell wasn’t going to concede another inch of room to them after last week’s antics. As I am stretching, the woman who announced her greatness for all things “spot” came up to me and asked me if I had enough room. I felt like this was a trick question, so I just kind of glanced up at her and didn’t say anything…but I know I was making one of my patented faces. She then proceeded to tell me about “her spot” and not just tell me…but showed me the actual set of squares on the floor that she truly believes are hers. She showed me that there is a tiny (and I mean TINY) scuff mark on one of the squares and that is precisely where she NEEDS to stand to start. She was really proud of that little scuff mark because apparently she made it. It’s like the aerobic equivalent of the Zorro Z to her, and I guess now I am to recognize it and concede it to its rightful owner. Crazy, right?

When I looked around the room today, I came to the realization that it’s not just the old woman wolf pack next to me that claim “spots”. Apparently all of these women claim “spots”. It’s like the movie Groundhog’s Day in there right before each class starts, and I never really noticed it before. They all come in, and stand in exactly the same “spot” they stood in last time. I watched them while I stretched and could read their facial expressions if they felt someone was encroaching. It really cracked me up.

Personally, I could care less where I stand. I like the left side of the room better for some reason, but I’ll stand anywhere. Guess my method of having no method is really screwing up people’s days. Guess what ladies, you all have at least another month of me screwing it up for all of you….and I’m considering touring the room.